Dimensions and Snoring Cats

Part I: During this "shopping" period of trying courses, I've come to realize that my decision of whether or not to take a class has something to do with subject matter, but much more to do with the professor. In a class in the States, if I don't like my professor, the class can be annoying, boring, or harder than usual, but I can still manage. Here, my standards are slightly altered. Understanding and liking the professors is key. I need to be able to comprehend what they are saying and know that they are available for help if I need it. They also need to be interested in what they are teaching. I was excited about my Argentina literature class until I realized that there was no way I was going to be able to stay awake for the 4 hours of this class every week. Monotone monotone monotone small pause. If the professor is bored of his own subject, what gives him the idea that I will find it exciting? I need teachers that are passionate about their subject matter; they teach a million times better than their uninterested counterparts.

I went to a class called "Estructuración de la Subjetividad", or "Structure of Subjectivity" at Universidad Del Salvador. Doesn't that sound nuts? What does that even mean? It turned out to be pretty awesome. The professor opened with questions like "Who are we?" "What makes us different?" "How much of our internal self is based off life experiences?" We had an interesting pondering period that I really enjoyed. Then we dove into the depths of the Sigmund Freud ocean of psychology. I've learned about him in previous psychology classes, but we pretty much just skimmed the surface. The professor started talking about the differences between neurosis and psychosis, which I don't even know very well in English. This is where the language barrier definitely became a problem; some of the technical terms were unfamiliar to me and this made it hard to grasp the essence of what she was teaching. Sometimes I just sat there with my mouth wide open, staring at her until I realized what I was doing. Another problem is my lack of comprehension when the students contribute to the discussion. They all talk so fast and colloquially that I can't keep up.

In most of the classes I've taken, it seems like everyone knows each other. I believe that's because they all take the same classes, since you only take classes in your facultad (major) in Argentine universities. This made me feel very isolated, but once I make the first effort, everyone has been very enthusiastic to talk to me. My new friend Christian cleared up some of the material for me during our break and also showed me the photocopy store where I can get my class materials. It is such a relief to be surrounded by such lovely, compassionate people as I struggle through this arduous journey of intensive learning. By the end of the 3 hours, I was so tired that I realized I wasn't comprehending anything. After all of the insanely long classes I'm taking here, I will never again complain about an hour and 15 minute power lecture at Madison.

Part II: I went to my second Psychology of the Personality class yesterday, and received a shock. For the first part of the class, we discussed John B. Watson and his behaviorism studies, which I was able to follow without a problem since I have previous knowledge of this psychologist, and I also did the reading for the class. However, all of a sudden, the conversation transitioned into a boisterous discussion about the movie "The Wall" based on the Pink Floyd album. Everyone was chiming in with fluid-sounding gibberish, and my first thought was: "The Wall" must be a pretty popular movie in Argentina if everyone here has seen it. And then it hit me. Everyone here has seen it. It was an assignment. Then all of the students passed forward typed papers in plastic cover sheets. I stared at the professor and wondered if I was having a nightmare. When were we assigned this homework? How did everyone know about it but me? Do they use telepathy to communicate in Buenos Aires? During the break, I went to talk to the professor and accidentally had a stress freak out/sob-filled mental breakdown. Those have been frequent for me during these first stressful weeks. I attribute them to stress from class choosing and university system disorganization, trying to understand people and failing, people trying to understand me and failing, and an utter lack of sleep that is leading to sickness. The worst part is, I can speak close to zero Spanish when I'm in this disoriented state of mind. However, the professor was very patient and understanding. It turns out, there is an email account that all the students must login to in order to view the homework for the practical part of the class (I only knew about the 30 page reading for the theoretical part of the class). Don't worry Nancy, everything will be okay. Calm yourself.

The last part of psychology class was very interesting. The professor related the personality to a telar, or a large loom with many layers of thread that they use in parts of Argentina and Mexico to make clothing. The personality is like a telar because it has many overlapping dimensions that all simultaneously coexist. All of our personalities have a physical dimension (one's body and physical movements), a psychological dimension (an individual's thoughts, desires, impulses), a social dimension (you can't judge one person's personality without observing them in their social context with other people), and a spiritual dimension (not necessarily religion, but rather a knowledge of the self and thoughts of the transcendental parts of existence). Just like the layers of thread in a piece of cloth, these dimensions are separate but always unified in the moment of every action of an individual.

I made friends in my psychology class who are all "re simpáticos" (very nice). So many names and so many faces, but I'll get it eventually. A few of us had lunch today, and it was really exciting to hang out with people from Argentina instead of just English-speakers as per usual during this trip. However, they all spoke so quickly and with so many words that I didn't know, that it was difficult to get my point across and difficult to understand all of their funny stories. This is extremely frustrating, because I just want to understand them and not feel so helpless. Sometimes I pause and ask myself: What the heck do I think I'm doing here? I stick out like a sore thumb, I cannot communicate effectively with the majority of the people here, I can't understand the class material, and everything put together is driving me insane. This is definitely the most challenging thing I have ever done. I never realized how hard of a time the foreign exchange students at my school must have in English classes. I can finally appreciate how much effort they have to put into everything, because it's not just the subject matter that provides obstacles, but the basic channel of communication. While the Argentine students only have to deal with wrapping their mind around an obscure concept in these classes I am taking, I first have to understand the basic structures of the sentences the professors are uttering so rapidly. The hardest part is that everyone at home is expecting to hear that I am having the time of my life and that studying abroad in Argentina is more fantastic than every dream I've ever dreamt. Turns out, it's a little more like real life. And real life is never easy. I have faith that I will have unforgettable experiences and that every moment of this huge struggle will be worth it in the end, but that doesn't at all minimize the extreme challenge of this step into another reality. There is no one emotion to describe how I am feeling right now. In order to be completely accurate, I would have to respond to the question "how are you doing in Argentina?" with the response that I am experiencing an alternating pattern of ecstasy, depression, extreme stress, fatigue, and contentment. While this response of my current mental state is slightly chaotic, I suppose it is more exciting than just responding with "good."

It is normal for people to smoke in UBA and in the basement of USAL. Most of the women here have really long, pretty hair and huge, colorful earrings with feathers or hoops. The walls in UBA are covered with graffiti. The wall in my classroom says: "El conocimiento será crítico o cómplice." I looked up the word "cómplice" and it means either accessory, conspiratorial, or accomplice. If I'm not mistaken, I believe this quote is trying to convey the importance of knowledge: either you obtain it and make strong, individual decisions, or you neglect to learn the information, and you conform to the decisions of the majority or to an uneducated guess. I will have to do more research on this later.

I got lost yesterday coming home from USAL, but it was the best kind of getting lost! I found yummy fruit stands and bakeries in Palermo that I hadn't seen before. I also discovered an Indian restaurant called Tandoor 5 blocks from my apartment! SO EXCITED. I miss Indian food; I got so used to eating it every day while waitressing at Kama Indian Bistro during my breaks from college. Mom and Dad, if you're reading this - we are going to this Indian restaurant when you come to visit! Irrelevant side note: I didn't realize that cats snore! Toto has been sleeping in my room and he's like a loud roommate. But a cuddly snuggly one, so it balances out. Thank goodness this week is over.. And now, for a major stress reliever. In 1 and a half hours (my goodness, how did it get to be so late?) I am waking up to sail away in a boat and spend my week-end in Uruguay with my study abroad program! We are going to the city of Colonia, which I hear is 1) beautiful and 2) has beaches. ¡Adios y nos vemos pronto!