You Say Goodbye and I Say Hello

It has been two weeks and two days since I left Argentina, but it feels like two years. People continuously ask me if it's weird to be back, and the truth is, it's weird because it wasn't initially weird. The first few hours I was forgetting a few basic words and was aware of an unfamiliarity with the shower handles in my bathroom, but within a day, everything fell back into place. It was almost like I hadn't left. Almost. It was glorious to see my family and friends after so much time, and so cozy to sleep in my large, welcoming bed once again. I didn't know how to feel. It was exactly how the other students who left earlier than me described it; it was like I had dreamed the whole thing. This concerned me slightly and scared me simultaneously. Did I really make all those friends? Did I really see all those amazing things? Did I really become fluent in that language? Am I a different person? It would take a while to fully understand the answers to these questions. I was in reverse culture.. shock? Not quite. Confusion.

My last afternoon in Buenos Aires, I walked to the same heladería (ice cream shop) that I went to my third day in the country. I remember that day so clearly, being completely turned around after I got off on the wrong side of the street from the bus stop.. Resulting in losing my way for at least half an hour. Everything was so different then. I felt disoriented, out of place, and lonely. I did not yet have a mental map of the city, and every street was just as foreign as the next. I remember finding that ice cream shop and being so happy because I knew it meant I was close by my apartment. I ordered the same flavors as I did my third day here, banana split and dulce de leche. It was an interesting experience, sitting there, eating the same ice cream at the same place five months later, knowing different things, looking at life in a different way, and truly feeling like a changed person. As I walked back to Valeria's apartment to collect my luggage and call a cab, I looked at every single person I saw on the street and tried to memorize their facial features. To each of them, I bade a silent farewell. Farewell to this radically different culture. To Buenos Aires. And to Argentina.

My last experience with an Argentine was an entertaining one. I had the pleasure of sitting next to a grandma who was flying for the first time in 14 years on my first flight to Miami. She was terrified of heights and gripped my hand tightly during take-off and landing. We had a nice chat for a while and I enjoyed her company but I really started to reach the edge of my patience when she continuously interrupted my intense crime movie "El secreto de sus ojos" with enthusiastic comments such as "Look at the wing!" and "This is a big plane." and "Can you get my backpack out of the overhead bin for me?" and "I don't have my glasses; can you pick a movie for me? I don't like anything scary." When I was changing flights I was unnecessarily searched for 45 minutes because I had changed the date of my flight so there was increased suspicion that I was a criminal or hijacker. It didn't help that I had accidentally put the fresh cooking spices that I bought for my dad in Salta in my carry-on luggage; those arose a bit of suspicion. After a second but shorter flight, I was home. As soon as I saw my family waiting for me at the baggage claim, I was happy about my return. Hugs from my mom and dad. Cooking with the family. Reading with my mom. Watching The Terminator with my brother. I've really missed this.

I just read over all of my blog entries to give me a more complete sense of my experience. I realize that the insane lack of sleep and late hours of dining and partying in Buenos Aires were not an exaggeration. I somehow managed to keep up for 5 months but I don't think I would be able to do that for a lifetime. They really are superhumans. I didn't know if I had changed that much when I first got home, but reading over my entries made me realize how much I have. I no longer have to smile and nod when people speak to me in Spanish; I actually understand them and can make valuable contributions to the conversations. I remember being terrified about starting classes when I was still in orientation; I was definitely not ready for that at first. On second thought, there was no way I could have been ready until I actually started them. I clearly remember falling apart and crying when everyone in my psychology class had seen The Wall and written papers about it while I was completely in the dark about this homework assignment.. At least my stress attack made me some really good friends.

I remember my Spanish rapidly improving and then getting worse for a period of time. This happened when I studied in Mexico during high school, too, but that was such a short trip that there wasn't enough time to bounce back. It actually took one of my friends in IFSA to tell me how much better I had gotten in order for me to realize it for myself. In one of my earlier entries I said that I really hoped that Ana Lucía and I felt like sisters by the end of my trip, and that wish definitely came true. I think my mamá's trip to Greece helped in making us a lot closer. I initially thought that porteños wouldn't want to talk to me because they had better things to do, but they ended up being very interested in my life and in people from other countries in general. I thought everyone from IFSA was just partying and having a good time without missing home or feeling lonely the first few weeks, but I realized later that this was a skewed perception. I talked to a number of people who confessed that they were experiencing the same feelings that I had experienced.. Being out of place and missing people who really knew them. I think putting on an image of being worry-free was something that people did so they wouldn't stand out as being the only ones who weren't totally loving their study abroad experience from the get-go.

This is something that I will never forget about my study abroad experience. The hardships. Every time that someone has told me about studying abroad, they only mention the incredible mind-blowing positive things that they experienced. I pictured making new friends, living in a different language, and traveling all over the place. I did not picture getting mugged on the street, being stolen from by my cleaning lady, having anxiety attacks because of the disorganized school systems, or worrying about walking on the streets alone at night. However, I am not at all saying that these hardships dampened my experience. I think they made it richer, more realistic, and more worthwhile. I am glad that I didn't experience a happy dreamworld of adventures and no worries. That's not what I was looking for. That's not the kind of experience that strengthens you as a person. I am just going to make sure that when people ask me about my 5 months studying in Argentina, I will not simply reply with "amazing." That is far too easy of an answer.

For the first week and a half home, I didn't use my Spanish except for in a few emails and Facebook messages. I realized that I was digging myself into a rut, a rut of people that live in a different country, become fluent in a language, and then lose it for no reason other than lack of practice. But two days ago, I was sitting in a Starbucks and a man started speaking to me. The conversation quickly turned to my trip to Argentina, and he asked me "¿hablas español?" and we spoke in Spanish until I had to leave for work. I had two customers that day, one from Guatemala and one from Costa Rica, and was able to practice my Spanish with them, too. I realized that I have absolutely no excuse to lose my Spanish. More people speak Spanish in the US than English and I am never going to allow myself to lose this beautiful ability to relate to other people.

In previous entries, I have referenced the list of goals for Argentina that my friends helped me create before I left for the semester, and also a list that I created for myself once I was here and discovering what more there was to experience. These are some of the key goals that I fulfilled these past 5 months.

List with Madison friends before leaving:

Dance the tango, get lost with friends, make friends from Buenos Aires and correspond later, speak to someone from every generation in Spanish, learn the Argentine accent, sit in a café and people watch, have an Argentine romance, visit Patagonia, see the Iguazú Falls, buy something legal in Argentina that is illegal in the US, get close with your host family, become a regular somewhere, try hard in classes but don't let them ruin your fun, write a blog, take too many pictures, climb a mountain, bargain and get a really good price, don't get mugged but if you do, realize that it's not the end of the world, dress like an Argentine, go to a fresh market, eat lots of fruit, run somewhere cool, significantly improve your Spanish, live in the moment, don't forget your home, go to a fútbol game, stay out all night and watch the sun rise, make friends from UW Madison, travel to a different country.

List made while in Argentina:

Go to Mendoza, bike wine tour to vineyards, horseback ride in the Andes mountains, white water rafting, visit Uruguay, ride a moped, go to a tango show, play fútbol with Argentines, score a goal in fútbol, visit Calafate, walk on a glacier, drink mate with friends, go to the theatre, visit Rosario, understand the public transportation system in Buenos Aires, paint a mural, go to a gym, buy books in Spanish, listen to Argentine music, learn new vocabulary, travel by yourself, go to the movies, Evita museum, Recoleta cemetery, botanical gardens, go to a rugby game.

I looked at the map of Argentina that I posted at the bottom of this entry and realized that I have visited somewhere in each of the different colored regions. This made me very satisfied with the geographical space that I covered while I was there. I went to Mendoza in the West, Salta and Iguazú in the North, Calafate in the South (and Ushuaia for a layover flight), and Buenos Aires and Rosario in the East.

Regardless of whether or not the last half of a year was a dream or not, it changed me and changed my life. "Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" -Albus Dumbledore. I am never going to forget walking on the Perito Moreno glacier or standing next to the powerful garganta del diablo at Iguazú. I will never forget my loving host mom, my sister Ana Lucía, Vari from psychology, Sarah and Whitney from the US, Valeria from Formosa, Agustín from Rosario, or any of the other wonderful people that I was fortunate enough to meet who will always have a special space in my heart. I am truly glad to have documented all of my experiences while in Argentina so I can recall how real they really were, even years down the road when they seem more dreamlike than they do at present. Muchísimas gracias, Argentina, for allowing me to have this awesome experience. Nunca voy a olvidarte! Also, thank you so much to everyone who has been keeping up with my blog. It really means a lot to me to know that people were interested in my life and struggles. This trip would have been a heck of a lot more difficult without the constant support from all of my family and friends. I love you all and I feel very lucky to have returned to this beautiful country filled with beautiful people like you :)

A Foreigner's Glance

I woke up this morning and it hit me that was my last morning in this crazy country. It's felt like such a long and drawn out period of life changes that I can't tell if I feel like the exact same person that I was before I came here. That's what makes me wonder if things will be different when I get home. I hope they are different. Because how else can you tell that something impacted your life if you go back and everything is the same? I will have to wait until I am back at home in familiar surroundings until I can really understand how I feel and what has changed, because right now I am still in the place where it all happened.

I successfully found a large amount of my favorite alfajor! Thank the god of dulce de leche. It rained all day yesterday, my last full day in Argentina. Don't cry for me Argentina; I will cry enough for the both of us! My host mom Adriana's new host student moved in yesterday. I wish I had the chance to meet her and get to know her a bit but she is at orientation today and I am leaving tonight. I have no use for my Argentine cell phone so I will just leave that and a note with the doorman, and hopefully she will be able to make use of it! I remember the process of buying a cell phone as being super annoying and confusing upon arrival.

Anyway, I will discuss reflections and final thoughts when I return home, but for now I thought this was an appropriate last entry while I am still in this country. The students in my IFSA study abroad program made a facebook group through which we have been communicating all semester. There was a specific post that was continually added to throughout our 5 months that I think is a humorous and truthful summary of memorable points about our experience living in Buenos Aires. A girl named Arlin started a post with "You know you're in Buenos Aires when.." and then everyone posted things about everyday life here that reflect the culture and a foreigner's experience living in this crazy city. Below I have posted a few of my favorite additions.

A few clarifiers on vocabulary in case you haven't picked up on them throughout my entries:
*colectivo=bus
*subte=subway
*moneda=coin (basically gold in Argentina.. Necessary to ride the colectivos but no one in restaurants or stores ever seems to have any change)
*manifestación=strike
*pollo=chicken
*porteño=resident of the capital of Buenos Aires
*boliche=club
*calefacción=heating
*superclásico=huge fútbol (soccer) tournament
*extranjero=foreigner

Note: These are personal experiences that really happened and do not necessarily reflect all of Argentine culture or the culture of Buenos Aires as a whole.

You know you're in Buenos Aires when...

-You are constantly being kissed by people you have never met before.
-Your professor's cell phone goes off during class and he answers it, continues with class, and then answers it again when it rings 2 minutes later.
-You go to the doctor and they prescribe you antibiotics without any sort of test or even telling you what your diagnosis is.
-Middle-aged mothers find it the most convenient and natural thing in the world to start breast-feeding on the subte or colectivo.
-You're on the colectivo filled to capacity with a strange man's face less than 6 inches from yours and the driver pulls over, turns off the engine, and waits in line for 10 minutes to buy cigarettes.
-Your dad emails you to thank you for the post card you sent a month and a half ago.
-The calefacción is on and it's 60 degrees outside.
-The bus company still hasn't emailed you your tickets and your bus leaves in less than 12 hours.
-Possible obstacles to getting to class include but are not limited to: 1. oddly protruding sidewalk squares or lack thereof that cause you to trip every other step. 2. dog poop that is never picked up. 3. manifestaciones. 4. pickpockets. 5. buses that seem to be competing for which one can run you over first. 6. random people on the subte selling you things you could never conceivably see yourself buying.
-No one else on the colectivo thinks it's a problem when the chofer opens the bus doors while still going 50 mph and swerving through traffic and then practically closes the door on your legs as you attempt to hop off.
-Your doorman tells you that he's sure that Bin Laden is alive, and then proceeds to compare it to the "situation" of Michael Jackson, who is also still alive in his opinion.
-What to you feels like t-shirt weather has every other person wearing winter puff coats and wool scarves.
-The English translation on the menu explains the plato de pollo as "chicken attacked with spaghetti and cream of saffron".
-Taxi drivers, store workers, and kiosk vendors get mad at you when you don't have change.
-It's just as likely to see a sticker of the Virgin Mary as it is the Playboy Bunny on the mirrors of the colectivos.
-Your host sister stays home from work because she has a cough so she lays in bed and smokes all day.
-You never pay attention to when the "walk" sign lights up, opting instead to watch for a group of porteños crossing the street that you can walk behind, protecting yourself from collisions.
-You are at a boliche with Argentines and at 6 AM you say you have to leave and then one of them says, "No podés, es temprano!" (You can't, it's early!).
-You can't get into the superclásico with tickets that you paid for because Argentina sold too many tickets and the police show up and start charging children with horses while firing their guns.
-Leggings are officially pants.
-You've been going to a class for over two months and your professor just now tells you that extranjeros are not allowed to take his class.
-You wake up with a pocket full of monedas with no idea how you acquired them, but you feel like it's Christmas morning.
-A lady is walking down the street with a bag that says "control de tobacco" and is simultaneously smoking a cigarette.
-You don't know how to react when your doorman gives you a necklace.
-The bookseller thinks it appropriate to caress your arm creepily as an apology for the absence of a book you need for class.
-The supermercado has 15 different kinds of mate but no eggs.
-In the airport on the way to Calafate NO ONE checks for any form of ID to make sure it matches the name on your boarding pass.
-You are stopped by a random John Lennon look-alike on the street who asks if he can draw you. You are flattered until you realize that he asked your friend the same thing last week.
-When the primavera sandwich listed under vegetarian options has ham in it.
-When the front desk people at a hostel give you the key to someone else's room, lose your key, and then tell you everyone leaves the doors open anyways.
-When your psychology professor tells you that it is common for women to have fantasies about living their lives as a phallus, and is completely serious.

-You are 20 minutes late for class, but you're not worried since your professor is on the same colectivo.

-You buy wine instead of water at a restaurant because it is the cheaper option.

Man am I going to miss this country :)

Russian Roller Coasters

I made it back to Buenos Aires! A slightly more painful 20 hour bus ride than the last one since no one was sitting next to me, but I had some good thinking time. I had my iPod on shuffle and I had a few nostalgic hours to myself, all of the songs reminding me of different people and different times in my life. It made me feel really ready to go home and give everyone I miss so much the biggest hug they've ever received.

Now I am living with my friend Valeria still in Palermo but in a different part. The top picture is of Valeria and me. It has been great living with her and getting to know her. She's a very sincere person and I can talk to her about almost anything. It's been weird being back in Buenos Aires and not seeing Carolina at the laundry mat I used to go to, not seeing the man with the spikey hair when I go to print something, and not buying alfajores at my regular kiosko from my favorite gray-haired kiosko worker.. but life goes on. Valeria and I have seen a lot of my friend Josh, one of the few students from IFSA that is still in Buenos Aires. He is working on his political activism thesis, so he has his own apartment here for a few weeks. We had delicious pasta at my favorite restaurant near my old house called La Pharmacie, and the night after that we ate tasty Japanese food near my current apartment. There has been a lot of eating out since I stopped living my host mom, which also means a lot of money spending, but such is life.

My friend Marney from junior high and high school just arrived in Buenos Aires recently to study here for the semester, so we met up and had a jolly time catching up and sharing stories. She has already been through a few ordeals and been introduced to the chaos and disorganization that is Argentina. The volcanic ash blowing from Chile is causing everyone with flights problems and hers was cancelled 5 times before she finally arrived. Also, her study abroad program does not provide housing for the students; they have to seek out an apartment or host family themselves. Considering all of the stress I faced upon entering this brand new culture, I am extremely thankful that IFSA provided housing for us, since that was one less thing I had to worry about.

Yesterday Valeria, Josh and I went to El parque de la costa in Tigre, which is an amusement park in the province of Buenos Aires that I recently found out existed. We took "el tren de la costa" to get to the park, which took us along a scenic route that stopped at artisan fairs and cute cafés. I didn't have high expectations for the amusement park since Six Flags is out of this world, but I ended up being pleasantly surprised. While there were plenty of tamer kid rides like the flying whales (of course I went on those!), there were also two extraordinarily intense, loopy and upside down roller coasters, or "montañas rusas". This literally translates to "Russian moutains". I did not know the history of roller coasters and if they really came from Russia, so I looked it up. Wikipedia (yay reliable sources!) says that the first roller coasters were hills constructed of ice located near Saint Petersburg, and after that they became slides with a height of 70-80 feet and a 50 degree drop that were reinforced by wooden supports. I genuinely feared for my life while I was riding each of them. I will never underestimate Argentine roller coasters again.

I was able to see my family friend Sara Navin and her family and have dinner with them after they also got back from Salta. It was lovely to see familiar faces after a long time of not seeing very many. We laughed for hours about Argentina and family memories and had a very tasty vegetarian meal. Today Valeria introduced me to her friends Santiago and Marcelo and we all had lunch. It was nice meeting her friends since we have only hung out alone before and then recently with Josh. Tonight I had dinner with my host mom, Ana Lucía and Suky for the last time and, you guessed it.. I cried. But not too much. They have been absolutely outstanding and have been there for me every step of the way during my time in Argentina. I know that I was lucky to have met and stayed with such loving people and I know that it is because of them that my experience was as incredible as it was. They gave me Argentine CDs of my favorite artist Fito Páez and also Andrés Calamaro, which was very thoughtful of them. The bottom two pictures are of me and my host mom, Adriana, and then me, Ana Lucía, and Suky. They all seemed very sure that we would keep in contact and see each other again, so I felt better about leaving them.

Now I have two nights left and I am really looking forward to being home to see my friends, family, and co-workers at Kama Indian Bistro. I just hope the cenizas (volcanic ashes) don't impede my flight home! Lots of my friends have been having issues with that and the airports keep closing sporadically. All of the IFSA students that are home have been telling me that their study abroad experience feels like a dream. It is already starting to feel like that to me since I am living somewhere else and around different people. But maybe everything's a dream anyway! "That´s what reality is. It's a dream we all have together." -Middlesex.

Salta la Linda: Land of Llamas

Disclaimer: This is a long entry. Perhaps you will need a snack.

I moved out of mamá's house on Friday and made sure to say goodbye to each room individually. Silly perhaps, but I cried when I said goodbye to Toto, my best friend on Charcas street who has always been there for me. I am definitely getting a cat when I have a house. I also cried when I said goodbye to my doorman Roberto; I think I was really falling apart at this point. But then I was off to the bus terminal; mamá insisted on meeting me there to send me off to Salta. She said all sorts of mom-like things like "Don't drink anything anyone brings you" and "Not everyone in the world is a nice person". It was very sweet. I chose to sit in a double seat because I thought it would be more fun to sit next to someone for the 20 hour ride rather than be alone. I sat next to a man named Mateo who ended up making my long trip a lot more manageable. He didn't speak more than 3 words of English so we spoke in Spanish the whole time. He is from Tucumán but is working 3 hours from Salta for the company Monsanto. I've only heard bad or controversial things about this company in the past from environmentalists, but he pointed out that a lot of people don't realize that without their usage of chemicals on plants, there would be a lot more starvation than there is right now. This doesn't justify all of their practices but it does show the complications of the matter. We talked about crop rotation and a bunch of other scientific things that I had never discussed in Spanish before, so he had to teach me new words. He was aghast when I told him that I was a vegetarian and had never tried an Argentine asado (basically a huge family gathering/meat fest). I understand how odd this might seem to someone with this tradition so deeply rooted in his or her culture. We were talking about drug usage in Argentina and then he pulled out a bag of leaves from his backpack. My initial thought was that they were definitely drugs. He told me not to jump to conclusions and then explained that it was what people from the North call "coca". If you take a ton of these leaves and add certain chemicals, it becomes cocaine. But coca by itself is not dangerous nor extremely strong. He said you suck on the leaves and they can quench your thirst, satisfy your hunger, cure your elevation sickness.. It sounded magical and pretty sketchy to me. After talking for five hours, he told me that he could tell I was a very sincere person with a corazón grandísimo (huge heart) but that I should be more careful when talking with people I don't know because there are a lot of people out there that take advantage of people like me. He had a good point and I think I don't have as many reservations because I have met almost all good-hearted, kind people in this country. I am working on finding a way to keep in mind that not everyone has good intentions while maintaining my optimism.

I arrived in the city of Salta on a gorgeous, sunny afternoon. On the walk to my hostel I saw tons of shrieking and laughing children running around on swing sets. There were palm trees and there was a pond filled with row boats and ducks. Salta is a very touristy town, but most of the tourists are from other parts of Argentina or Latin America, so I was still surrounded by Spanish. There were artisan fairs and vendors on the streets selling cozy hand-knit sweaters, mate, colorful purses, and mittens. I went to the teleferrico (cable car rental place) and banked on jumping in a cable car with random smiling people since you can't ride them alone. I found a girl who looked my age and 3 boys who looked a bit younger standing in line next to me and asked them if I could accompany them. They said "claro que sí!" They were visiting from Rosario and there names were Soledad, Juancho, Daniel, and Ezequiel. Three of them were siblings and they were all super nice and fun to be around. We took the cable car to the top of a mountain and looked at beautiful Salta from afar. We all had fun taking pictures near the trees and waterfalls at the top. They introduced me to their families, who were all very welcoming and gave me kisses. Afterwards, I met up with Miriam and Sarah, two girls from IFSA who were staying in the same hostel as me for two nights. We walked around in the sun and passed the cotton candy stands that lined avenue San Martín. People in the provinces of Argentina are much more relaxed than in the capital. A lot of people from the North and other parts of "el Interior" (all of Argentina that isn't Buenos Aires) have a negative impression of porteños; they think they are always rushed, unkind, and have a superiority complex. While I have had wonderful experiences getting to know porteños, I understand how busy city dwellers can be stereotyped in this way. I feel really lucky to have been able to visit all over Argentina because all of the regions are so different. Everyone in the North seemed very friendly and I never felt unsafe during the day or at night, very different from how I feel where I've been living for the past 5 months. Often times when people from this country find out that I am from the States, they ask me why I chose to study abroad in Argentina of all places. "Los Estados Unidos son lo más" (The US is the best). I look around and think about everything I have experienced and I reply, "Why would anyone NOT want to come here?"

Sarah, Miriam and I woke up bright and early for an excursion Sunday morning. We realized that the day before had been the 9th of July, the day that Argentina gained independence from Spain. Other than the bank being closed, there had not been any visible festivities. Our tour guide was Hassan, a very friendly, tall man. He drove us around the windy mountain roads for 12 hours in a tour van with two men from England, Kevin and Antony. They were traveling on a fútbol tour around Argentina and doing sight-seeing in between. We had a great time "skanking out" (a British term for "jamming") to The Clash, Bob Marley, Tom Petty, The Beatles, and The Fratellis. I was so happy to be surrounded by the Andes mountains once again. This time they weren't all brown and gray. Because of the various elements present like Iron, Copper, and Sulfur, there were tons of visible colors in the rock. We saw "El tren de los nubes" (train in the clouds) that used to transport minerals and now transports tourists for a view of the region. My favorite part of the long drive was all of the animals that we saw. We saw tons of llamas up close in grassy fields and crossing the street in front of our van in a line. We also saw timid, cute animals called vicuñas that look like deer with really long, skinny necks. There were horses, donkeys, and cows lazing about in the grass. We went to "las salinas grandes", the salt flats. A large body of water dried up a long time ago and left salt residue that gathered and hardened. People dig into the salt, collect water and then sift out the salt to form small mountains. We drove for a while longer and then stopped for coca tea. It tasted all right but contrary to what Mateo told me, it didn't cure my headache or stomach pains. Maybe I didn't drink enough for it to affect me. Or maybe it's more affective if you suck on the leaves directly. At one point, we stood at an elevation of over 4000 meters. We stopped in Purmamarca to see the Cerro de siete colores (mountain of seven colors). I called it the "Conversation Heart Mountain" because of the beautiful blend of pinks, purples, reds, and whites. We came back after a long day and had dinner with Soledad, the girl that I met on my cable car adventure. We went to a peña, which is a restaurant where singers and dancers dress up as gauchos and play folkloric music while you eat and drink. We drank Salta's famous white wine and I tried humita, which is a traditional food in the North. This is cooked corn mixed with cream and put back in a corn husk.

I was woken up the next morning by the hostel owner, who told me that my guide was here for my excursion to Cachi. I had slept through my alarm! In 7 minutes I was in a van with 3 more girls from Rosario. Miriam and Sarah didn't accompany me because they were heading to Bolivia later that day. The girls in my van looked like they were about 19 but they were really 24 and 26 and had intense jobs like lawyer and radiologist. Hassan was my guide again but I had a very different experience than the day before since the other North Americans and the Brits were gone. We spoke only Spanish, drank mate, and listened to Latin music. We drove through El parque nacional de los cardones (the National Park of Cacti). They were huge and numerous. Some of the really tall ones were up to 400 years old. When they are about 500 years old, they dry out and turn to wood that is used for craft making. The cacti were lovely against the blue sky and the purple and snow-capped mountains. We made a few stops and encountered people selling spices native to Salta, and little children playing the drums and singing. At one point, a donkey in a nearby field came up to our car and stuck his head through my window! I think he was looking for something delicious to munch on. We went to the small town of Cachi, which is surrounded by the Andes. I had a fun time eating lunch and taking silly pictures with my new Rosarian friends. They asked me about everything that I found to be different between Argentina and the US. I had a lot to tell them. It was an enriching experience being off on my own in the sense of being far from everyone I knew, but close to a lot of people that wanted to get to know me. I felt really fluent in Spanish and had no problem communicating with the girls. They told me that I spoke very well and that I sounded like a French person speaking Spanish, which was interesting. I had a lot of fun on our road trip and it made me realize that I should do that more around my own country. I would love to travel to Colorado, Houston, Philly, and Boston one day.

My third day of excursions was with 17 people on a bus instead of 5 in a van. Our tour guide Alejandro made a stop and invited us all to buy coca, the magical leaves that Mateo introduced me to on the bus. He taught us how to use them and told us not to chew or swallow them because then they become a laxative. When they lose flavor, you simply spit them out. I tried some and they were all right; I felt like I was sucking on tea but nothing insane or unexpected happened to my bodily systems. Our guide told us that usage of the coca plant is not something illegal or hidden there, it is a deeply ingrained part of Northern Argentine culture that dates back to the Incans. It is supposed to have 20 medicinal purposes. On our drive we saw tobacco and alfalfa plants growing in the fields next to us. We passed Pueblo Fantasma (ghost town), a pueblo that didn't use to have light and is a place where many movies are filmed. We saw a lot of rock formations on the way to the town of Cafayate that resembled varios things such as the Titanic, a castle, and a frog. We also saw "la garganta del diablo" (the devil's throat, the same name given to the epic cluster of waterfalls in Iguazú), which was a huge cavernous section of the mountains that contained tons of layered rock. We went to the Nanni vineyard in Cafayate where they make organic wines (without using chemicals). We saw where the wine was stored and were able to participate in a degustación, or a wine-tasting. On our way out of Cafayate, I had the suerte (luck) to be able to feed llamas corn kernels. My day was complete. All of the excursions in which I participated were very worthwhile and wonderful for meeting people. I am really glad that I came to Salta even though no one was able to accompany me. I feel like it was just the taste of independence I needed to wrap of my grand adventure of self-growth. For my last day, I hung out with people from my hostel who happened to be French and extremely attractive. They didn´t speak much English but spoke decent Spanish (some better than others), so we had a fun night of Frespanglish and boliches (clubs). I was sad to leave Salta the next day because there was still so much that I wanted to do, but when I return to Argentina one day I know I will come back to the North, too.

Graffiti and Academic Freedom

Holaaaa.

One thing I am NOT going to miss about living in Buenos Aires is hearing that one of my friends got held at gun point or mugged every couple weeks. At first when I got mugged, I thought it was mostly girls who were targeted, but it has happened to a lot of my male friends, too. I don't know if the attackers can tell that they're foreigners or if it just happens to everyone. One time it even happened to my friend on Santa Fe, the main drag that is always filled with people.

On Monday I had friends over to my apartment for a mate reunion so I could see all of them at the same time in the same place before they all had to leave. These were all of the friends that I went to Mendoza with my second week here. It's hard to believe how long ago that was. It was a really enjoyable time. Toto and Tango were the stars of the show; everyone loved playing with them. All of the tickets for the Harry Potter midnight showing are sold out! I didn't realize that I had to be more on the ball about this in South America. My friend Nadia got tickets for a group of us for the 18th, the night before I leave. I'm glad I at least get to see it before I come home :)

I had my last final exam Wednesday, Psychology of the Personality. I slept very little the two nights before (one night I studied til 7 AM!) and because of that I am sick now.. I guess I'm not invincible. Anyway I am really glad that I put the effort into it that I did because I ended up getting a 10 on the oral exam, which means a 10 in the class! (the highest grade possible) I was so happy when they told me that they had never had a foreign exchange student try as hard as I did before :) For my oral presentation, we had to relate the psychological concepts and authors that we had learned about through a creative medium, so I made a collage out of bus and subway tickets, boarding passes, receipts, and all sorts of stuff that I have collected since I've been in Argentina, and each item was a symbol for something we learned about. They really liked my idea. I'm so glad that I'm finally done with all of my classes and exams! What a load off my shoulders. Now time to have some fun for my last 2 weeks here.

My friend Leah from high school who I became friends with during our Mexico trip senior year came to Buenos Aires to study for the summer! We had an helado (ice cream) together and talked all about Argentine culture. A lot of my friends have been coming/preparing to come to Argentina lately for study abroad trips and it has been really nice giving them advice and telling them about my experience, because there are definitely certain things that I wish people would have told me before I came here. Now I have the chance to share that knowledge.

My friends and I went on a graffiti tour of the city the other day, which was very worth the 90 pesos. We had a tour guide from England who is friends with the other English people who came to Buenos Aires a few years ago and created this idea of a graffiti tour. We took a bus part ways and then walked all around Palermo and saw the different street art; much of which I had never seen before. It was beautiful and weird, and we learned about all of the different artists who our guide knew personally. I liked learning about each one because then I became familiar with their style, and it was easier to pick out who painted which ones afterward. I also really liked learning about the historical context. During the dictatorship, there were many paintings about los desaparecidos from people that were lacking loved ones. During the economic crash of 2001, instead of painting sad or angry things, a lot of artists started the movement called "muñequísmo." A "muñeca" is a doll, and this was when artists started painting giant goofy cartoon characters on the walls of buildings during this time of stress and unrest. Their idea was that if everyone saw these funny figures, they would cheer up and look more on the bright side of their country and the future. It actually did have a positive effect on the country's outlook. The power of artful expression! There was also a painter that I liked who paints things very distinct to Argentina. At first, it was tango dancers, but then he got bored of people talking about his art as "linda" and "simpática" (beautiful and nice). He switched themes to the violence of fútbol, and he showed this by painting fighting wolves. He really enjoys painting social commentary that will make people think about their society.

Last night I went to see "Bella durmiente del bosque" (Sleeping Beauty). It was a ballet and it was very beautiful. I love all of the sparkly tutus and the way that people can move like they're feather-light. It was a bit long for me (3 hours) but it was enjoyable all the same. Afterward, I had a farewell dinner with all of my good friends from the program who will be leaving on the group flight this week-end. It's been real, IFSA!

This morning I went to the Alto Palermo mall and bought tickets for Salta, in Northern Argentina! I leave today at 6:30 and while none of my friends could go with me, I am now okay with the idea of going alone. It's a 20 hour bus ride both ways! I hope someone friendly will sit next to me. At least I will have time to catch up on my sleep. I will be meeting up with two girls in a hostel and then they will be there for a while before they go to Bolivia. I think I will have the chance to meet a lot of fun people and have a lot of really enriching experiences. I can't wait! I will be home Thursday morning and then have another 5-6 days in Argentina before I come home. It makes me sad to think about leaving my apartment in Charcas that has been so wonderful for me during my time here, but at least I will be having dinner with my host mom and Ana Lucía one last time the Sunday before I leave the country.

Yay life! See you soon.

Laughing in the Dark

I haven't seen my 4-year-old host niece Juanita (granddaughter of mamá, daughter of María Sol and Pablo) in a very long time, and she came over the other night while her parents were out. At the beginning of my trip, we couldn't understand each other at all. This visit, we communicated quite fácilmente (easily). I was so excited that I could understand her 4-year-old Spanish. I know that my pronunciation has improved because a 4-year-olds' comprehension isn't as forgiving as that of an adult who understands that you don't speak Spanish as your native language and that you make mistakes. We took a funny photo shoot and both died laughing. She is the cutest and it was really hard to say goodbye to her. These are definitely things that I have been lacking while in Argentina: small children and the happiness they bring. Saying goodbye to one of my favorite doormen, Luis, was also difficult, but we are going to keep in touch and he is going to send me photos when he goes to Brazil, so that is something to look forward to.

I've been feeling really odd lately and my moods keep switching between extreme sadness and hyper overexcitedness. It's strange to think that when I see most people now that I've been seeing randomly for the last 5 months, it might be the last time I see them. People that I don't consider close enough to visit in the future or make an effort to communicate with, but people that I have enjoyed passing time with in groups or on random occasions when we were in the same place. I think it will be okay moving on but at the same time it would be nice if they were around just so we could say hi or catch up once in a while. I suppose if that happened with everyone that I have enjoyed meeting during my lifetime, it would be overwhelming and I would drown in the masses. Perhaps life has already figured out what's best for me.

I was studying for my psychology exam and drinking mate (the beverage that has become a necessary study tool for this class) and I suddenly had buckets of energy. I burst out with weird noises and chuckles while no one else was home. Toto continued to sleep; I think he's used to my random outbursts. Even though I have lived with a host mom and then a host sister for this whole trip, this is the most alone I have ever lived. No real family or friends my age. I think I've just learned how to adapt to this lack of constant company by talking aloud to myself. Sometimes I just lay in my bed while trying to sleep and laugh to myself because of something that happened earlier that day. Maybe that's abnormal, but it makes me feel better. If you can't make yourself feel better, you have to rely on other people. And what if those people don't come through? While I am a very social person, I also really value my alone time. That's another reason why I love running; it gives me time to think. This trip has been really beneficial for me because it has taught me how to be independent. While there are certainly times when I am mad at myself for saying or doing something stupid, and times when I am around people that make me feel bad about myself, at the end of the day I am really happy with who I am. As Henry David Thoreau says, "If I am not myself, who else will be?" I think it is definitely okay to get excited when a boy notices me or says something cute, or when a friend really makes an effort to make me smile, but I know I cannot ultimately depend on anyone else to sustain my happiness. I am the only person that is guaranteed to remain constant through everything. I should be able to be happy when nothing particularly different or exciting is going on. Just happy to be alive, you know? And I am.

I have also learned other truths about myself while in Argentina that I am working on coming to terms with rather than hiding from them. I am an extreme procrastinator. I know that I am a good student with a decent degree of intelligence, but I also know that I leave things until the last minute. While I have self-motivation, I also seriously value relationship building and opportunities to strengthen friendships or make new ones, and often times jump at these opportunities when they arise instead of doing school work. I used to feel guilty when I did that, but now I understand that it is just a part of who I am and as long as I ultimately get my work done, I shouldn't worry so much. Often times I just end up worrying about things for a week before I actually start them and then eventually get them done. I should really just skip the worry week and jump to the one or two stressful days before when they come. "Don't be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." -Matthew 6:34. I have my last final on Wednesday for psychology and I am starting to feel semi-prepared. I can prepare 10 minutes of the oral presentation beforehand, but then the professors can ask me about anything that we have learned in the course and I have to respond in a correct and timely manner. This part is a bit more intimidating.

My friend Maddie has an apartment here now and we have been having a lot of fun friend gatherings there since it's right near Plaza Serrano, the night scene in the capital of Buenos Aires. My friend Federico that I met on the Mendoza bus ride brought his friends over and we all hung out. Afterward we went to a club and had another night of flashing lights and electronic music. When the boliche finally cleared out, my friend Whitney and I walked home and I realized what an interesting mix of people is out at 6:30 in the morning in Buenos Aires. There are old ladies with grocery bags getting an early start, couples happily meandering hand in hand, and drunken men wobbling down the sidewalks and saying funny, incoherent, and/or offensive things. Whitney and I sat on a stoop to finish our conversation before we parted ways, and two men who did not appear overly intoxicated passed us. They simply said "hace frío!" (it's cold!) and moved on. We ignored them, but then they returned two minutes later and handed us each a rose that they had purchased from a nearby flower stand. And then they just continued walking! It was surprising and pleasing that they did not stop to flirt with us or expect anything from their generous gift. They just seemed to be genuinely nice guys. I put my rose in a glass of water on my desk until Toto came in and started eating it.. I forgot that my host mom once mentioned that he has a liking for them.

I hung out with Vari from my psychology class and we had a fun few hours of ferias and ice cream. She has become one of my best friends from Argentina and I am really going to miss her. I woke up the other morning with a huge pain in my knee; I really hope it goes away within a few days because I do not want to have to forgo my half marathon like I had to do last year because of my broken foot. Last night I went to La Viruta again for a tango lesson and then dancing. During the lesson, a boy came over to me and asked me to dance. He was pretty cute and tall and I soon found out that he was a professional tennis player training for the Olympics! He is from Bariloche in Patagonia, is teaching tennis lessons in Buenos Aires, and is going to Spain soon to play tennis there. We had a fun time dancing and he went to get a drink. Afterward, he was looking for me in the wrong spot and before I could go over to him or signal to him where I was, he moved to the center of the dance floor and began seductively tango-ing with my friend! A slight bummer but alas. Who needs famous tennis players, anyway? :) Today I went to la Feria de Mataderos again and this time the events actually happened, contrary to 25 de mayo when it was rained out. I had a really fun time exploring with my friends. There was fun gaucho music, lots of artisan stands with handmade goods, interesting food like candied apples with popcorn on them, and dancing gauchos. One of them even kissed my cheek! I'm glad I went but now it's time to study for the rest of the night. What does that word even mean? This study abroad experience has included too much of the "studying" part. At least it will be all over soon!

Two Homes and One Heart

I am very much a list writer and I think that says a lot about my personality. I never want to miss out on anything and I think every little detail is important. I also have a shoddy memory, so my habit of list writing comes in handy for this reason, too. Lists make me feel more secure and I enjoy the feeling of accomplishment that overwhelms my being when I cross off items (maybe that's a bit melodramatic). Sometimes when I am feeling unproductive, I add items that I have already done just so I can cross them off. Maybe that's pushing the purpose of a to-do list, but I am okay with that. I made a list of things that I want to do before I leave Argentina. I do not know if I will accomplish everything, but maybe I will accomplish more than if I hadn't written a list at all. Anyway, here are some of my last Latin American ambitions:

*Tour the Casa Rosada - the government house in Buenos Aires where President Cristina Kirchner lives. I hear that you can take pictures at the balcony where Evita Perón gave her famous speech.

*Attend more tango classes, and maybe even a salsa class! What place to learn Latin dance other than Latin America?

*Go to barrios in Buenos Aires that I haven't already been to. In particular: La Boca, where there are really colorful houses and street fairs; Once, where they sell a million products of sketchy quality for a miniscule price; Olivos.. I don't know what's exciting about this barrio, but maybe I will find out.

*Go to the Xul Soler museum (a famous artist) and Museo de la Memoria in Belgrano. I hear they both "valen la pena ir" (are worth going to).

*Visit the Cementerio Chacarita (Chacarita Cemetery); I hear it's bigger and cooler than the Recoleta Cemetery and there are lots of tombs of famous dead people of which I would be familiar.

*Go on a graffiti tour.

*Find out if the Beatles museum really exists and if so; get on that.

*Visit Salta and Jujuy in the far North of Argentina. See the land covered in salt and the Seven Colored Mountain!

*Drink mate with amigos.

*Read Spanish and Argentine literature and learn more about Argentine history.

*Watch Argentine movies such as: Nueve reinas, El secreto de sus ojos, Luna de Avellaneda, El tiempo de valientes, el Hijo de la novia.

*Try to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II. I cannot believe I am missing the last midnight showing in the US! I've gone to all the rest of them. In costume. I guess being in Argentina is the best excuse I can think of for not going; nonetheless, I am distressed. I will try to see it here or right when I get back.

*Make one last effort to study hard for the Psychology of the Personality oral exam next Wednesday. It seems as though studying will be the last thing I want to do with all of these other exciting ambitions..

*See as many friends from the US and Argentina as possible before leaving.

*Attempt to find a massive quantity of alfajores to bring home and share the happiness.

Well that's all, folks! Who's going to keep me accountable?

One last note: After giving my final presentation in my IFSA Argentine music class yesterday, we all sat around and talked until time ran out. Everyone talked about when they were going back to the States and what plans they had for the summer. One boy Craig piped up and said he wouldn't be going back. We asked him if he was planning on staying a THIRD semester in Buenos Aires (he had already stayed a year), and he said that he had decided to stay forever. That's right. FOREVER. He decided to finish his schooling at the universities here and then find a job, form a family, and qué sé yo (who knows). This shocked me and I forgot that people actually decide things like that sometimes. I think the reason it came as such a surprise to me is because I can't imagine staying here forever. That's not true; I guess I can imagine it and I have, because it's hard not to imagine what your life would be like anywhere that you have grown to know and love. However, I also know and love the United States. Much more than the country itself, I love my friends and family. I have an extreme unbreakable tie to them and while living in Argentina or another Latin American country sounds exhilarating, I can't bear the thought of leaving everyone I love forever. For a while I wondered if this meant that my experience in Argentina wasn't as fulfilling as his, but then I rethought this notion. I talked to him after class and realized that, like so many other things, it's all about the comparisons you make. He was not happy with his life at home and never really felt comfortable or like he could freely be himself, and here he has found happiness. He said "and that's what it's all about, right?" He is absolutely right. I have found happiness with my friends and family at home and also happiness here, but I feel an internal pull to go back. Craig has finally found somewhere that has embraced him with open arms, and he is taking this magical opportunity that was presented to him to better his life. I am so delighted for him and also realize how lucky I am to love my life back home. But who says you can't have two homes? "Home is where the heart is" and my heart is here now, too. And I know it will still be here, embedded in all the new places and faces that I have grown attached to, when I come back to visit in the future :)