My last afternoon in Buenos Aires, I walked to the same heladería (ice cream shop) that I went to my third day in the country. I remember that day so clearly, being completely turned around after I got off on the wrong side of the street from the bus stop.. Resulting in losing my way for at least half an hour. Everything was so different then. I felt disoriented, out of place, and lonely. I did not yet have a mental map of the city, and every street was just as foreign as the next. I remember finding that ice cream shop and being so happy because I knew it meant I was close by my apartment. I ordered the same flavors as I did my third day here, banana split and dulce de leche. It was an interesting experience, sitting there, eating the same ice cream at the same place five months later, knowing different things, looking at life in a different way, and truly feeling like a changed person. As I walked back to Valeria's apartment to collect my luggage and call a cab, I looked at every single person I saw on the street and tried to memorize their facial features. To each of them, I bade a silent farewell. Farewell to this radically different culture. To Buenos Aires. And to Argentina.
My last experience with an Argentine was an entertaining one. I had the pleasure of sitting next to a grandma who was flying for the first time in 14 years on my first flight to Miami. She was terrified of heights and gripped my hand tightly during take-off and landing. We had a nice chat for a while and I enjoyed her company but I really started to reach the edge of my patience when she continuously interrupted my intense crime movie "El secreto de sus ojos" with enthusiastic comments such as "Look at the wing!" and "This is a big plane." and "Can you get my backpack out of the overhead bin for me?" and "I don't have my glasses; can you pick a movie for me? I don't like anything scary." When I was changing flights I was unnecessarily searched for 45 minutes because I had changed the date of my flight so there was increased suspicion that I was a criminal or hijacker. It didn't help that I had accidentally put the fresh cooking spices that I bought for my dad in Salta in my carry-on luggage; those arose a bit of suspicion. After a second but shorter flight, I was home. As soon as I saw my family waiting for me at the baggage claim, I was happy about my return. Hugs from my mom and dad. Cooking with the family. Reading with my mom. Watching The Terminator with my brother. I've really missed this.
I just read over all of my blog entries to give me a more complete sense of my experience. I realize that the insane lack of sleep and late hours of dining and partying in Buenos Aires were not an exaggeration. I somehow managed to keep up for 5 months but I don't think I would be able to do that for a lifetime. They really are superhumans. I didn't know if I had changed that much when I first got home, but reading over my entries made me realize how much I have. I no longer have to smile and nod when people speak to me in Spanish; I actually understand them and can make valuable contributions to the conversations. I remember being terrified about starting classes when I was still in orientation; I was definitely not ready for that at first. On second thought, there was no way I could have been ready until I actually started them. I clearly remember falling apart and crying when everyone in my psychology class had seen The Wall and written papers about it while I was completely in the dark about this homework assignment.. At least my stress attack made me some really good friends.
I remember my Spanish rapidly improving and then getting worse for a period of time. This happened when I studied in Mexico during high school, too, but that was such a short trip that there wasn't enough time to bounce back. It actually took one of my friends in IFSA to tell me how much better I had gotten in order for me to realize it for myself. In one of my earlier entries I said that I really hoped that Ana Lucía and I felt like sisters by the end of my trip, and that wish definitely came true. I think my mamá's trip to Greece helped in making us a lot closer. I initially thought that porteños wouldn't want to talk to me because they had better things to do, but they ended up being very interested in my life and in people from other countries in general. I thought everyone from IFSA was just partying and having a good time without missing home or feeling lonely the first few weeks, but I realized later that this was a skewed perception. I talked to a number of people who confessed that they were experiencing the same feelings that I had experienced.. Being out of place and missing people who really knew them. I think putting on an image of being worry-free was something that people did so they wouldn't stand out as being the only ones who weren't totally loving their study abroad experience from the get-go.
This is something that I will never forget about my study abroad experience. The hardships. Every time that someone has told me about studying abroad, they only mention the incredible mind-blowing positive things that they experienced. I pictured making new friends, living in a different language, and traveling all over the place. I did not picture getting mugged on the street, being stolen from by my cleaning lady, having anxiety attacks because of the disorganized school systems, or worrying about walking on the streets alone at night. However, I am not at all saying that these hardships dampened my experience. I think they made it richer, more realistic, and more worthwhile. I am glad that I didn't experience a happy dreamworld of adventures and no worries. That's not what I was looking for. That's not the kind of experience that strengthens you as a person. I am just going to make sure that when people ask me about my 5 months studying in Argentina, I will not simply reply with "amazing." That is far too easy of an answer.
For the first week and a half home, I didn't use my Spanish except for in a few emails and Facebook messages. I realized that I was digging myself into a rut, a rut of people that live in a different country, become fluent in a language, and then lose it for no reason other than lack of practice. But two days ago, I was sitting in a Starbucks and a man started speaking to me. The conversation quickly turned to my trip to Argentina, and he asked me "¿hablas español?" and we spoke in Spanish until I had to leave for work. I had two customers that day, one from Guatemala and one from Costa Rica, and was able to practice my Spanish with them, too. I realized that I have absolutely no excuse to lose my Spanish. More people speak Spanish in the US than English and I am never going to allow myself to lose this beautiful ability to relate to other people.
In previous entries, I have referenced the list of goals for Argentina that my friends helped me create before I left for the semester, and also a list that I created for myself once I was here and discovering what more there was to experience. These are some of the key goals that I fulfilled these past 5 months.
List with Madison friends before leaving:
Dance the tango, get lost with friends, make friends from Buenos Aires and correspond later, speak to someone from every generation in Spanish, learn the Argentine accent, sit in a café and people watch, have an Argentine romance, visit Patagonia, see the Iguazú Falls, buy something legal in Argentina that is illegal in the US, get close with your host family, become a regular somewhere, try hard in classes but don't let them ruin your fun, write a blog, take too many pictures, climb a mountain, bargain and get a really good price, don't get mugged but if you do, realize that it's not the end of the world, dress like an Argentine, go to a fresh market, eat lots of fruit, run somewhere cool, significantly improve your Spanish, live in the moment, don't forget your home, go to a fútbol game, stay out all night and watch the sun rise, make friends from UW Madison, travel to a different country.
List made while in Argentina:
Go to Mendoza, bike wine tour to vineyards, horseback ride in the Andes mountains, white water rafting, visit Uruguay, ride a moped, go to a tango show, play fútbol with Argentines, score a goal in fútbol, visit Calafate, walk on a glacier, drink mate with friends, go to the theatre, visit Rosario, understand the public transportation system in Buenos Aires, paint a mural, go to a gym, buy books in Spanish, listen to Argentine music, learn new vocabulary, travel by yourself, go to the movies, Evita museum, Recoleta cemetery, botanical gardens, go to a rugby game.
I looked at the map of Argentina that I posted at the bottom of this entry and realized that I have visited somewhere in each of the different colored regions. This made me very satisfied with the geographical space that I covered while I was there. I went to Mendoza in the West, Salta and Iguazú in the North, Calafate in the South (and Ushuaia for a layover flight), and Buenos Aires and Rosario in the East.
Regardless of whether or not the last half of a year was a dream or not, it changed me and changed my life. "Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" -Albus Dumbledore. I am never going to forget walking on the Perito Moreno glacier or standing next to the powerful garganta del diablo at Iguazú. I will never forget my loving host mom, my sister Ana Lucía, Vari from psychology, Sarah and Whitney from the US, Valeria from Formosa, Agustín from Rosario, or any of the other wonderful people that I was fortunate enough to meet who will always have a special space in my heart. I am truly glad to have documented all of my experiences while in Argentina so I can recall how real they really were, even years down the road when they seem more dreamlike than they do at present. Muchísimas gracias, Argentina, for allowing me to have this awesome experience. Nunca voy a olvidarte! Also, thank you so much to everyone who has been keeping up with my blog. It really means a lot to me to know that people were interested in my life and struggles. This trip would have been a heck of a lot more difficult without the constant support from all of my family and friends. I love you all and I feel very lucky to have returned to this beautiful country filled with beautiful people like you :)
